1/29/10

For all you Valentine's haters...


Your Excuses Ain't Cutting It...

February 14th is one of the most dreaded days of the year. This puts the excuses that I have heard into writing so that those who use them can see how ridiculous they are.


Many people argue that Hallmark is the great creator of St. Valentine’s Day. Anti-Valentiners all over the world misuse the "Hallmark holiday" excuse. The true origin of Valentine’s Day comes from the Roman martyred Saint Valentine who was persecuted under the reign of Claudia II. His crime? Marrying couples! St. Valentine was a soldier of love, a policeman of passion. Ask any woman if 
there is anything sexier than a man in a uniform. So put away this excuse, pull out your wallet, and fork out some Hallmark love!

Some single people use Valentine's Day as an excuse to pick apart their past relationships. Some go as far as saying that they will always be alone and stay home listening to sappy love songs. Open your eyes (and mouths) because this is exactly what chocolate was invented for. Fall in love with Thomas Haas and you’ll never be lonely again.

People in committed relationships become bitter at their partners for not picking the most romantic restaurants or the most expensive presents. Hopefully I am not the first to tell you that life is not as it’s perceived in the movies. Many breakups are driven from the misconceptions created by the likes of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. In reality, Tom looks like an aging republican senator and Meg Ryan, (thanks to bad cosmetic intervention), looks like a goldfish. So, embrace your love of your and unwrap the dyed blue carnations with a smile.

My favourite excuse is when people say that they don't need a holiday to tell their loved one how much they care. All you lazy lovers out there use this excuse. To that I can simply reply, stop grumbling and continue to say "I love you" 364 days of the year. But please on Valentine’s Day sing it louder that usual!

Happy Valentines Day!

Sincerely, with love and a Hershey kiss,

Sophia Tupper xoxoxox0